A full circle
Diano and Brian got off the bus near the departure area. Brian carried a backpack while Diano had a suitcase.
“I told you we’d be early,” said Brian, adjusting his backpack.
“I couldn’t sit and wait at home,” said Diano. “Do you wanna check in the bags now? I checked us in online on the Malaysia Airlines website last night.”
“We have time. Let’s go find something to eat first?”
“I’ll eat later,” Diano said.
“Okay. Let’s find some seats first and then I’ll go to grab a quick bite. I’m very hungry.” Brian smiled.
“Sure.”
They looking around for seats and picked the ones nearest to the large screen displaying departure information next to the airport Customer Services counter. Brian left for the McDonald’s outlet one level below.
Diano used his iPhone to check for free Wi-Fi signals. As soon as he found one, he connected to the network and started browsing.
Finally, the day had arrived. A day to fly far away and work on erasing the sad memories that filled his life with misery. No more sad songs. No more miss you nights. No more faces from memory. No more crying. No more heartbreaks. He’d become wiser and tougher. He’d learn how to distance himself from craving and aversion. He’d learn how to train his mind to control his emotions better. He’d never thought it was possible but Brian’s conviction helped him build up the courage to try it out. The life of a monk for ten days; there was no harm in trying it out.
“Hello.” Somebody broke into his thoughts.
He looked up to see a young guy smiling at him. The face looked familiar.
“Diano! I’ve found you!”
And then it struck him. It was Nyle. Oh my God! Nyle! He looked different. More fashionable. Shorter hair. Taller. Handsome. Diano broke into a smile.
“You’re alive!”
And then a sudden rush of anger overcame him.
“How are you?” asked Nyle.
“Alive,” snapped Diano. “What else?”
“I’ve spent a long time looking for you.” Nyle stopped smiling. “I’m sorry for whatever happened in the past.”
“It doesn’t matter any more.”
“To me it does. It wasn’t easy.”
“Really?”
“Please, don’t be angry lah. I was a teenager then. My parents were too strict. They made me move to Vancouver for studies.”
“So as soon as you grew up, you came back to say sorry to me? It took you four years to return. And of course, you must have forgotten my email accounts and phone number. I’m surprised you still remember my face. It’s a miracle in comparison. I feel honoured.” Diano couldn’t avoid the sarcasm.
“Please. They deleted my accounts and my contact lists. I was under house arrest. And after some time, I forgot your number and email. I’m sorry.” Nyle pleaded.
“That’s okay. Nothing can change what’s already happened.” Diano wanted to slap Nyle’s face.
“How are you? How are things?”
“How are things? Things are very fine. How could they not be? I have spent days, no, months, thinking about you, worrying about what happened to you. The last time we’d spoken you’d told me you were sick. Do you remember? And then there was no communication from your side. I called, I emailed and I stood outside your building for days. I spoke to your friends trying to find out more information about you. Nobody knew a thing.”
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t allowed out of my room after that phone call. No contacts with anybody outside the family.”
“One day I read about a boy, with the same physical description as yours in those days, had drowned off the Manly Beach in Sydney. I was devastated. I tried to find out more about him but I could not. There was no way I could get an assurance from anybody you were alive. Do you know how that feels? Do you know how many nights I haven’t slept because I had nightmares? It was the same nightmare every time. I could see you but you couldn’t see me. I’d run after you but lose you in the end.”
“Oh my God.” Nyle tried to give him a hug but Diano pushed him away.
“I’m happy to see you alive but beyond that I don’t want to have anything to do with you. Just go away.” Diano felt a hand on his back. It was Brian.
“I want to get back with you. We can be happy again. I’m twenty-one now. I don’t need to fly back to Vancouver. I can stay here with you. We can be together forever.”
“No.” Diano turned around to hold on to Brian. “Ask him to go away, Brian. Please, ask him to go away.”
“Calm down.” Brian patted his head and put a hand on his shoulder. “He is upset,” he told Nyle. “He’s gone through a lot and he’s a different person now. He doesn’t wanna go back into the past. Please, understand.”
Nyle looked around frustrated.
“Just tell me whether we can be together again. I really wanna be with you, Diano,” said Nyle in a choking voice.
“No. I cannot.” Diano answered without looking at him.
“Why do you want me to go away? Do you have a boyfriend now?”
Diano looked at Brian. He didn’t know what to say. If he told the truth, Nyle wouldn’t go away. And the truth was he didn’t want to give into Nyle easily. It wasn’t revenge, it was self-protection. Brian caught his eye and nodded.
“I’m his boyfriend,” Brian said.
“I have a flight to Vancouver today. I need to know whether I should stay back,” said Nyle. This time he had tears in his eyes.
