Stood up at the Beijing
Diano looked at his image in the mirror. He looked provocative. Following Cute’s recommendation, he was dressed in a low-cut tee shirt that displayed a good part of his chest. He wanted to look good. Cute had, somehow, managed to convince him he needed to look hot if he intended to take his relationship with Norman to the next level. No reasoning worked when Cute had decided something. To him it didn’t matter that Norman was straight. What mattered was whether Diano wanted things to get cozy. Cozy was a strange word to use but it fitted the situation.
“This is too slutty.” Diano shook his head.
“No, it isn’t,” Cute said. “You used to wear it before.”
“Yes, but that was a year ago. There’s no way I can carry this now.”
“Yes, you can. You should be proud you have maintained your figure well.”
“Thanks. But… It’s a straight disco. It will look silly.”
“Well, if it makes you look good and people are jealous, let them be. Don’t let that discourage you.”
“I don’t want to embarrass him.”
“Ha! Well, you’ve been sleeping with him and still not getting any.” Cute laughed. “This would at least remind him of what he is missing.”
“I’m not a slut.” Diano objected.
“Stop being an innocent baby.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know you want him. I know you do.” Cute sang out in the tune of Pussycat Dolls’ Dontcha.
“Stop it!” Diano wanted to look angry but broke into a smile instead. “Are you sure he’ll like it?”
“A few shots and you’d be the hottest girl on the floor to him.”
“I’m not a girl!”
“But like you said, he’s straight.”
“Yeah.” Diano sighed. “He greets me with a ‘buon giorno, principessa‘. I’ve told him many times I’m a boy not a girl.”
“It’s from a romantic movie. As usual, I cannot remember the name. Probably Italian? Anyway, it makes no difference.”
“Yes, he told me — Life is Beautiful.”
“Well, you are top and you fell in love with a straight guy. Can it get more complicated than that?” Cute sipped his soymilk drink.
“Yes, it can. If it does go up one more level.”
“Why?” Cute asked.
“I’m a virgin stupid.” Thank God Summer wasn’t listening to their conversation.
Cute exploded with loud laughter and managed to spill some of his drink. He took a tissue and wiped the floor.
“Hmm. Well, you better do your homework then,” Cute said. “You know? Just like the athletes prepare for the Olympics.”
“Shudder to even think of it.”
“I could give you some hints.”
“No, thanks.”
“What if he wanted to? Are you going to say no to him?”
“I don’t know. Scary. I’ll probably let him.”
“Wow.” Cute smiled. “You are in love.”
Diano blushed.
###
Diano stood next to the California Fitness centre, scanning the crowd outside Beijing Club on the opposite side of the street. He took frequent sips from a bottle of Smirnoff Ice.
It was stupid but it was alright. He was doing it for Norman anyway. Not that Diano didn’t love dancing himself, but he found he could never turn Norman down. No matter which day or what time, whenever Norman asked him out, he’d say yes. Sometimes it was crazy. He’d receive an SMS in the middle of the night asking him to go to this disco or that. He’d get out of bed, get dressed and head out to meet Norman.
Diano tried to think why Norman had a command over him. It was as if Norman owned him. He could do anything and get away with it. There had been a few times when he had wondered whether he should play hard to get. But what if Norman got discouraged and never asked him out? The fear of not meeting up with him or, worse, getting dumped by him was something Diano knew he couldn’t handle. Norman always told Diano he missed him. Norman had say he was lonely and needed to see him often. Diano had begun to realize he missed Norman too and couldn’t live without seeing him often. It was a vicious cycle. Aiya, what was he getting into? Obsession? Love?
Sometimes he felt he should keep track of what Norman did in his free time. It was strange Norman used neither Facebook nor MSN. It was beyond Diano to persuade him to come online. It was as if either Norman wanted to keep a part of his life hidden from Diano or maybe he was dumb after all. Straight boys were always dumb anyway. He smiled at that thought.
Diano looked at his watch. Norman was very late. In fact, it was over an hour past the agreed time. He’d sent an SMS to ask where Norman was but got no response. Even the calls were going directly to his voicemail. He had left three messages already. He sent another SMS.
Diano: Where are you? It’s over an hour already…Miss you!
He got a response. Finally!
Norman: Sorry. Caught up at work.
Diano: It’s Saturday night…
Norman: Yes.
Diano: Can you still make it?
Norman: Don’t know. May be another hour or so. Where are you?
Diano: Outside Beijing.
Norman: Why don’t you go in?
Diano: You know I don’t go in without you. I don’t know anybody there.
Norman: Call Tina. She’s inside.
Diano: I don’t wanna go in without you…
There was no response.
Diano got up and crossed the street. He walked to the end of the lane and walked up the steps to Club 97. If he was to wait another hour, he might as well get a drink.
He sat down and ordered a house red. He didn’t like the taste but he drank it anyway. Next, he ordered a Pinot off the list. Another hour had drawn to a close by the time he finished the second glass.
“Hi. Can I sit down here?”
Diano turned to find an old gweilo. He didn’t even wait for Diano’s response and settled down on the stool next to him.
“How are you today?” the Westerner asked.
“Fine.” Diano was in no mood to talk.
“What are you drinking?”
“Pinot.” Diano said without looking at the stranger’s face.
“Try a better one. Let me buy you a glass of Shiraz.”
“No, thanks.”
The stranger waved his hand at the bartender anyway.
Diano jumped off the barstool and started walking away.
“Hey. Stop. Where are you going?” The stranger called after him.
“My boyfriend’s outside.” Diano continued on his way.
Suddenly his cell phone buzzed. It was another SMS.
Norman: Sorry. Just finished work. So tired. Going home. Meet next time?
Diano was angry. He had made an effort to look good. And Norman had made him wait for two hours. Now he wasn’t coming. Diano thought whether he should just head to Propaganda instead but decided against it. He wasn’t interested in meeting any more strangers that night.
Another buzz.
Norman: Sorry, baby. I miss you.
Diano: I hate you.
Norman: Sorry. Please don’t hate me. I promise I’ll make it up to you next time.
Diano: No need.
Norman: Aiya. Come on.
Diano: No need to meet me again.
Norman: I’ll die lah.
Diano walked down to the taxi stand.
Norman: Where are you?
Diano: Nowhere.
Norman: Why didn’t you call Tina? She’s at Beijing.
Diano: No need.
Norman: Do you want me to pick you up? Sleep over at my place?
Diano: No mood.
Norman: Aiya. Forgive me lah.
Diano got into a cab and went home.
