Negative energy
Good job. Great reportage.
That had been Kevin Taylor’s response to Oliver’s medium-length report on the IDAHO event. The photographs had made it livelier, he thought.
He was working away at his desk when Energy approached him.
“Do you have a minute?”
“What’s up?”
“Let’s go down for a smoke.” Energy looked a bit confused, angry even.
“Huh? Since when have you started smoking?”
Energy didn’t answer and he didn’t wait either. He was halfway towards the lift lobby. Left with no choice, Oliver followed him.
They rode the lift down to the ground floor in silence. Apparently, whatever Energy had to say was so secretive, he didn’t wish to talk in front of others.
They walked to the designated smoking area for that building.
“Okay now? What’s up?” Oliver asked him.
“Are you gay?”
“Why do you ask this suddenly?”
“Agnes messaged me on MSN.”
“That I’m gay?” Oliver was confused.
“Your photo is in the Apple Daily.”
“What photo? What are you talking about?”
“Some article about gay people. She said your photo is there. Priscilla is very upset.”
“About my photo being in the newspaper? Isn’t that beyond my control? I didn’t publish it.” Oliver was angry. After months of pleading and weeks of overtures, she hadn’t budged from her stand. She hadn’t responded even once.
“But what were you doing with the gay people there?”
“I went there to find out about the event. It’s part of my role to find out about local LGBT organizations, their events, and their operations.”
“I told you before that Taylor guy is trouble. Why do you need to do all this? Is he paying you? If he’s interested, he should do it himself.” Energy’s nostrils flared, making him looked like a dragon. Oliver could imagine fire shooting out of his nostrils. He laughed.
“Calm down. It’s not a big deal.”
“It is. Agnes has been trying to pacify Priscilla for a long time. And then this. It has reversed weeks of hard work.” Energy shook his head.
“Then what has it got to do with you? Why are you getting worked up?”
“You don’t appreciate the effort that’s going into reconciling you two.” He sighed.
“Come on. Are you kidding me? If Priscilla loved me, she’d have given up her silly stand and come back to me.”
“There you go again. You think everything is silly unless it has something to do with you.”
“Hello! This is directly related to me! I’m sure you have an idea of what I’ve gone through during this period.” Oliver stopped smiling.
Energy kept quiet for a few moments as they looked away.
“Are you in love?” asked Oliver.
There was no response from Energy.
“Are you in love with Agnes?”
“That’s none of your business.” Energy continued to breathe as if he’d just completed a 100m dash.
“Right. And what I do in my own time is everybody else’s?”
They didn’t talk to each other for a few minutes. Oliver felt hurt. All this talk was unnecessary. Energy should have known better than that. He was disappointed.
“So what do you want?” Energy asked still looking away.
“What do I want? I want peace of mind. What do you want?”
“I want you to distance away from all this gay stuff. I can’t stand it. Priscilla and Agnes can’t stand it either.”
“I’m sorry. That’s not gonna happen,” Oliver said. He wasn’t going to change his life for Priscilla. He’d given her enough time to patch up but she’d wasted his time.
“Do you still love her?” Energy looked at his face this time.
“I don’t know any more. I don’t want to talk about this any more.”
“Give up the gay thing, okay? It embarrasses me.”
“Why does my working in this area bother you? I hadn’t raised my hand. Daniel asked me to help out. And honestly, I don’t see why not. Come with me next time. Once you listen to their side of the story, you won’t feel embarrassed any more.”
“No! I don’t want to have anything to do with them. If you choose to continue doing it, I’m afraid I will pull out.”
“What are you saying?”
“After all these years of friendship, you couldn’t really understand me.”
“And you? Do you understand me? Do you even understand yourself?”
“Frankly, about me, I don’t care any more. About you, I don’t want to care.”
Oliver felt betrayed, sad, and lonely, all at once. This was the first time in their years of friendship Energy had said something harsh to him.
Energy walked away signaling the end to their conversation. Oliver stood there. Alone.
It was silly. Why were people embarrassed, angry and judgmental when it came to gay people? It was unfair. Yes, he too may have done it in the past. But at least he was trying to understand them now. Wasn’t it a question of basic humanity? Why should gay people be treated with such disdain? Why should they be beaten up or abandoned for loving someone from the same sex? There was nothing wrong about it. Love is always like that. You cannot really control who you love and why. If you did, it wouldn’t be love. It would be a calculated move towards achieving something. Why had everybody become so shallow?
He shut his eyes. There had been nothing appalling about IDAHO or the people attending it. Why were they making an issue out of his being there? Surely, it was their ignorance? The less you knew about something, the more uncomfortable you’d be about it. Energy was ignorant, just like he himself had been in the past. He was no longer angry with Energy, just disappointed. Agnes was doing her duty towards her friend. But Priscilla?
He thought about Summer. She was nice to him. No, he wasn’t in love with her. At least not yet.
Then there was Diano. Oliver wanted to spend more time with him. Love? Hmm.
